I am so sorry I have been MIA. I have been working my ass off trying to get back on my feet and ultimately back to work. I'm not even sure where to start really. Since my last post, I have gotten a lot better. That's not to say that I don't have bad days, but I am able to get through those bad days without a trip to the ER now...which is probably just because of shear stubborn will. I am currently on Florinef and Acebutelol. It seems that I have struck some sort of balance. My BP is more under control, my heart rate has been awesome, but my other symptoms are still hangin out. It's cool, I'll take what I can get. I started a mild workout regimen. I ride the recumbent bike every other day and that has helped a great deal. My stamina is much better, my strength is much improved, and overall I feel better. All that said, I still deal with serious bouts of lightheadedness, random pain, heaviness in my body, visual disturbances, and other fun things unique to us dysautonomics. I just don't give a f*@# anymore! I've decided that I'm going to live my life to the best of my ability and tell Dys to kick rocks (when that's possible).
I really just want to get back to my life. I want to be able to provide for my family. I want to get up in the morning, go out into the world, and do something productive. I want to plan trips with my partner and go explore new places. I don't want my life to revolve around doctor's appointments, medical bills, and soap operas. Yes...sad, but true. I watch the soaps. What else is a girl to do when she's stuck at home alone all day?!
Anyway, I am trying really hard to get back out there. I've been doing little bits of graphic design work and blogging here and there...but I long to be out in the real world. Designing for companies, making a living, and leaving my mark on the world. I know that is not going to come easy...just as getting to where I am right now hasn't come easy. I'm just staying positive, working really hard, and keeping my eye on the prize.
I'm not sure if anyone still follows this blog, but if you do as always, I hope you and your love ones are doing well. Stay strong and never give up.
Thanks...I've been feeling exactly the same way lately...giving up the battle with insurance companies and disability and getting back to what was GOOD in my life, surrounding myself with people who believe I'm sick even if I don't always look miserable (that darn invisible illness!) Thanks for the inspiring words, good luck with everything, and enjoy the ride!
ReplyDeleteCathy
Hey Cathy,
ReplyDeleteThanks for the comment...and for still reading this blog. I wasn't sure anyone still did. I'm glad you could relate to my post. I guess I just woke up one day and decided that life is too short to be miserable. I know that sometimes we can't help it physically, but mentally, I believe that I can choose to be happy regardless of my situation. I wish you the best of luck in all your endeavors! Stay positive and as you put it so well, "Enjoy the ride."
Rachael