How It All Began

So this is where it begins. Where what begins, you ask? Well, where the story of how I went from being a strong, vibrant, healthy young woman to whatever it is I am now. I mean sure, I look the same...on the outside. But I am not the same, physiologically speaking. I have been suffering with some kind of condition for months now and have been written off (by more doctors than I'd like to count) as a young woman obviously suffering from stress and anxiety. (The classic rebound answer when the blood work turns out normal and a couple of scans look fine.) Needless to say, I'm ridiculously frustrated because I know myself. I am built to handle stress and for the record, I do not suffer from anxiety. Though I have felt anxious in the past, as we all have for various reasons, it is not something that I typically experience. That being said, if I was having anxiety, I would be the first to admit it. It is something that can be dealt with and treated through relaxation, therapy, and medication if necessary. I wouldn't subject myself to needless tests and useless doctors visits if I didn't feel that I needed help.

Enough ranting, here's how this all started. About 4 and a half months ago, I was in San Diego visiting my dad who was very ill in the hospital. I was driving to see him one morning and began to feel very strange. My heart began fluttering (palpitating) and I became severely lightheaded. Afraid that I was going to lose consciousness, I pulled off the road and called 911. My limbs felt incredibly heavy. My breathing became labored and erratic. My hands and feet became numb and very tingly. My entire body began to tremble as if I was freezing (though it was quite warm out) and I got the chills. I was incredibly nauseous. My head got increasingly more difficult to hold up and I was about to black out when a medic opened my car door. They took my vitals and put me in the ambulance where they kept me on a pulse ox to monitor my heart rate and oxygen. The medic told me that my heart rate was all over the place...anywhere from bradycardia (below 60) to tachycardia (above 100) within a few seconds. They brought me into the ER and gave their report to the nurse. The first thing they told them was that I was visiting my dad in the hospital and that I was under stress. (I thought to myself...I can buy that. My dad is sick, maybe I am freaking out inside and don't know it.) The nurse and doctors saw me, asked me a couple of questions, made me take some Xanax, and sent me out into the world. That was it...no tests, just take a pill, oh and the nurse told me to try listening to music because it calms you down. Wow, thanks for that! I still felt like hell, but figured they knew what they were doing and that the Xanax would help me feel better.

My sister picked me up from the hospital and we went on our way. I was still short of breath, my balance was messed up, I was lightheaded, and I felt like I couldn't lift my limbs...but I had taken Xanax, so I was sure that I would feel better. We got to the hospital shortly after and all I wanted to do was lie down, which I did on a couch near the elevator. I just wanted to sleep because I thought maybe if I slept off whatever was going on with me, I would be okay. I slept for a bit and woke up feeling as horrible as I had before, minus the heart palpitations. I went through the rest of the day feeling terrible and from what my lovely family told me...looking as bad as I felt. I hoped that once the day was over and I got some rest, I would be back to normal. Little did I know, it was only the beginning of my issues.

::As a side note, I do want to state that I have no problem with Xanax and think that it is an effective drug when prescribed and used properly by someone who does need it. I am not that person.::